Hey everyone! This is Cyrus Delgami, one of the main characters from the Seventh Valkyrie series! Now, you may be wondering why I’m addressing you directly. Well… BC got pissed that we weren’t the stars of the show. One thing led to another, and now Colin’s tied up in the basement.
Anyway, we’ve decided that while we’re in the business of saving our world, we might as well do our part to save yours too. Still a little foggy on the details, but we talk about it in this, the first edition of Seventh Valkyrie Live!
Transcription: Let’s Stop a Civil War 😀
Cyrus: [Click, mumble mumble] Is this thing on? Colin said that this was the setup… Well, might as well go for it!
Cyrus: Hey everyone, this is Cyrus Delgami! Now, you may wonder why I’m addressing you directly. Well here’s the funny story! So there we are, just living our lives, being fictional characters and all
Then all of a sudden, wham, BC got really pissed. Said that if there’s gonna be a Seventh Valkyrie podcast, we should be the stars! We’re the main characters, right?
So she gets really pissed about Colin stealing our thunder, and she vents to Val about how we oughta do something about it. Val talked to me, said something about how BC wanted to start a podcast, and I was like “great!”
Anyway, one thing led to another, and now we’ve got Colin tied up in the basement. Val, is he still breathing?
Val: Yeah. At least the last I checked
BC: [Far away] “Who cares?! Fucker was using our brand for a lame podcast!
Cyrus: Okay well anyway, this is our podcast now! Okay… wait, how do you do a podcast?
[Welcome and Introductions]
Cyrus: Hello everyone and welcome to Seventh Valkyrie Live!
Cyrus: I’m your host Cyrus Delgami, and I’m joined today by two very special guests.
First, we have the queen of kicking ass, the elegant enforcer, the woman known only as BC
BC: Hey Cyrus
Cyrus: And of course, the hero of Edara, the Iron Wolf himself, the man, the myth, the legend, Valentin Descartes
Val: I don’t think I agreed to have that as my intro
Cyrus: Anyway, onward into our review of the news!
[Review of the News]
Cyrus: Now we’re based out of the Americas at the moment, and it looks like Donald Trump and his administration continues to dominate the headlines
Now there’s the usual chaos of lies and misleading, but recently some recordings have been coming out about some pretty major lies and negative stuff. Trump sat down with Bob Woodward, the reporter who broke Watergate, for like 18 interviews, and the news is saucy.
BC: Seems like a good idea
Val: Fuck that guy. As a soldier, fuck that draft-dodging fat fuck prick. Back in Edara we’d have a way of dealing with men like that. Sorry, are we allowed to curse here?
Cyrus: Eh… I guess? Try to keep it to a minimum. We’ll see if we can bleep them out
Cyrus: In addition, it seems like he’s underplayed a major pandemic, saying “I wanted to play it down” despite being recorded saying he knew the disease was very dangerous. All this despite public comments and actions to the contrary.
Val: This guy really isn’t convincing me.
Cyrus: Yeah. Throw in a record 20,000 lies or untruths counting, bragging about helping the foreign murderers of his country’s resident, and then he’s got petty shit like recently blaming California for forest fires despite denying them fire aid, and still holding massive rallies despite a pandemic
BC: What’s the deal with him and how the hell is he a president? He looks like typical BTN
BC: Big-talk, Tiny-dick, no-tip. We get ‘em a lot at Velvet
Cyrus: Hmmm, well he’s certainly a big talker with a penchant for skimping on bills… and hey, it says here that there are a few stories about a strange penis that have gotten knocked around by some of his… escorts?
BC: We call ‘em working girls
Cyrus: Yeah, a history of that, along with… well some much… much harsher allegations…
Cyrus: This guy is surrounded by controversy, which is why we’ll get to him in our later section. I can see you two are chomping at the bit to talk about him, but let’s finish up the weekly update first. We also had some news with the return of sports. BC, I gave you some notes?
BC: “What?! You gave me the sports section?! Why do we even have a sports section?!”
Cyrus: “Look, you’re our only girl, and this guide to marketing I found says that for a male audience, a pretty female lead is the way to go.”
BC: “WHAT?! You’re using me as eye candy?! I swear to F**K you little F**K, if you don’t give me a better section —
Cyrus: BC! BC! Ah! Wait, stop!
Val: I guess I’ll read the rest of the sports. Looks like both types of football are back this week. Hmm, that would be confusing. One of these sports looks like crasca, lots of kicking the ball around, while the other one is basically an armored blood sport.
Val: Wait, Cyrus, I thought that there weren’t bloodsports in this world anymore?
Cyrus: “Little busy right now! Ah ow!
V: And it seems in both sports you had quite a different response to the racial climate. Across England, there were displays of racial unity and equality for every single game in the premier league before kick off. A powerful message.
Meanwhile, in America… seems like things have gotten damn near rotten. Men from both teams — Chiefs and Texans — linked arms for a moment of silence for racial unity, and got booed. Hell. How blind do you have to be to protest equality? Bastards. In the arena, that’s the one place where all men can be truly equal, and leave everything settled at the end of the fight. It’s a shame to see divisions, especially between races, infecting that one sacred ground.
Val: Cyrus, you still occupied?
Cyrus: I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to objectify you! I promise I’ll never do it again!
BC: You better not you little shit!
Val: Hmm, while they’re figuring that out, I’ll touch on the rest of the notes. Seems like those racial and political divisions are really striking all across the board. There have been shootings of peaceful protestors, riots breaking out at peaceful protests… They’re shutting down the post office.
Hell Cyrus, this place seems almost as fucked up as Edara does. I thought earth was supposed to be a fun world.
Cyrus: [Panting] “Yeah, but it sure looks like it’s not… Hope there’s something we can do to change that.”
Val: BC, you done kicking his ass?
BC: [Sighs] Yes. As a matter of fact I am
Cyrus: Great. That brings us to our main discussion for today
[Discussion: How Does America Avoid a Civil War?]
Cyrus: So… with all these tensions growing, how does America avoid a second civil war?
Val: What kind of government do they have again?
Val: So just vote for change. No one wants a war, right?
Cyrus: Well, it’s not that simple. There is a big election coming up, and as we get closer, you can’t talk the situation in the world today without talking about the election of Donald Trump.
Cyrus: The US is arguably the most influential power in the world, and at the head is this guy who has at best been divisive and incendiary, and if you believe the various allegations, is at worst outright traitorous, a rapist, and responsible for thousands of deaths
Val: You’d think that would make it hard for him to run for re-election
Cyrus: You’d think so, but it seems like there’s a history of division in the country, and quite a lot of money and powerful working to muddy the waters.
I mean everywhere you look there are allegations of corruption, foreign intervention. Not to mention rumors of hacking the votes, a history of voter suppression, and long-standing histories off other races.
Not to mention that a big portion of the government, as well as the country, very strongly support him. Seems like the situation’s complicated
Val: Well if everyone in the country fairly voted, who’d win?
Cyrus: Almost undoubtedly the other guy, Biden. Heck, this Trump guy lost the overall election last year but still got president.
Val: So it’s simple then, isn’t it? Throw the other guy out, send him to justice. Reunite the country after.
BC: What, like Edara so brilliantly did for all of the Freelanders?
Val: Speaking like you’re not Edaran? Or working for the goddamn Ma-
Cyrus: Now both of you, let’s take a step back. We’ve got a tiny studio, and no money to replace stuff if you start breaking things
Cyrus: Now even if this guy isn’t elected, that doesn’t solve the problem. Leaders are elected because of movements, not the other way around. So what does this guy really represent to have such a following?
Val: To his supporters? Hope. Freedom. Unity. Togetherness. A better way of life. At least for the people you love. During the war with the Freelanders, they always get us riled up with our songs and our national Edaran pride. I swear, even I could get caught up in that frenzy on occasion. When you’re in the thick of it, thinking with you heart, emotionally… well you can’t see the problems until they’re too late
Cyrus: And what do you think BC?
BC: From how he presents himself, he also probably represents an idea of power, decisions, and decisiveness, protection. When you’re confused or times are uncertain, someone with a strong personality with conviction can really be reassuring.
Speaking from experience, following someone with all your heart is liberating. It gives you freedom from consequences, and gives you that goal to chase, especially if they give you good news about your bad habits.
I mean, Trump is convincing in his own douchey, lying way. He’s a beacon of unyielding certainty in a world that’s terrifyingly uncertain to some people. It’s something to hold onto, to believe in. I of all people can’t hold that against people.
Val — and just like in your past, the harsh reality is that you’re following someone self-centered, bordering on evil, who doesn’t care about you back
BC — You want to say that one more time? Trump and The Machine King are nothing alike, you hear me? I mean at least Krona has a goal, and some fucking class!
Cyrus: [interrupting] Again, bringing it back to the central issue. How do we avoid civil war? What do Americans do to find unity again in a divided country? Sure, this Trump guy seems like a total jerk, but I think the problem’s deeper than that. Even if the guy’s voted out of office, it seems like people are getting increasingly isolated, they’re living in different realities basically. How do you reunite that country?
V — Seems to me like we’re nearing the point of no return. People who support him are stuck in their little bubble, people who hate him either can’t or won’t communicate with his supporters. I’ve seen it end in blood before. I mean fuck, the shooting’s already started, hasn’t it? We’ve seen the reports
C — That’s a bit of a defeatist perspective isn’t it? I mean, there’s always gotta be a better way to
BC — Wolfie might have a point Cyrus. If people won’t listen to reason, and they stop listening to each other, how the fuck do you avoid war? Seems like it’s time to get honest
C — Come on guys, first episode and we’re already jaded? There’s gotta be an answer to:
V — There you go with your optimism. War is war kid, I know you’ve never-
C — Alright, hold up a second! You won’t even let me finish. Can I finish? God.
C — you’ve gotta believe that people can be better, right? You’ve gotta keep believing that this system they’ve got, it can work, at least until it doesn’t.
Sure, you vote this guy out it’s just the start, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth fighting for. You of all people should know that Val!
If you keep educating people, you keep pushing for peace, you keep your hearts open and you try to understand, that’s the way forward. That’s the only way forward! Otherwise people will keep getting more and more divided.
Colin had a great piece written on his blog about that. It’s called “Whoever You Are, Whatever You Believe, I Only Ask That You Care”, and I read it before and I believe it now. We have to believe in people, we have to believe in change.
Val — So what about this election? What happens if he ratfucks it, or wins? What happens next? Are people just lost?
BC — Will the world end, no. But I think it’s fundamental that people stand together now. This guy, he represents the worst of us. And no matter what you believe, if you want someone to represent the best of us, you have to stand up and say no to this guy. I don’t care what you believe, if you actually believe in a future for this country, you have to take action, and vote this guy out. Because even these conservatives won’t get what they want with this guy in office. No one will.
And ya know what, people are. People are acting. they’re standing up. I believe in that.
Val — but what happens next? People fall back into their ways.
Cyrus — well, we just need to keep educating, and informing, and keeping people connected. We need to invest in education. Invest in sharing stories. Invest in truly understanding, not just blaming.
Cyrus — You know what, maybe that’s how we — the Seventh Valkyrie team — help save the world in our little way
Val — “With what, a podcast?”
Cyrus — Well ideas are pretty powerful. Maybe we can offer some perspective, ya know? Being from a different reality and all that. We were just talking about how people are isolated… if we understand people better, we can get along with them.
I mean look, you and BC are getting along… eventually
Val: Only in this reality
Cyrus: You get what I’m saying. Maybe, just maybe, if we can really, really try to understand what’s causing these conflicts… try to understand what makes this world bad, but also what makes this world good… maybe we can help?
Val: You know I’m not great at talking, Cyrus. I much prefer doing.
BC: Me too
Cyrus: Well being as we’re fictional characters and all, talking might be about all we can do
Val:…. Well, fuck it, might as well. You in BC?”
Val: “I swear, I won’t be able to take Cyrus’s sheer optimism alone”
BC: “Fuuck, I guess. Besides. Doing this reading on Cyrus’s vice section, looks like there’s definitely some things worth saving here. Look here. Ayahuasca. Definitely want to try that. And there’s this thing called internet porn that I’d sure as hell like to-”
Cyrus: “Alright, it’s settled then! So me, Cyrus, you Val, and you BC, plus whoever we drum up, will keep an eye on the news, but we’ll also try to understand a little better about the things that make this world beautiful, and what make it terrifying.
Oh this is exciting! We get to be radio personalities! Oh my gosh, we should come up with a theme song! And a chant!”
Val: You can work on all that, fine… but where do we leave off with America? How do we avoid civil war?”
Cyrus: Caring, I think that’s a great starting point. I think this election is important and everyone needs to show out to reject the worst in us, which is what Trump represents. But after that, the only thing that will heal the country is empathy and understanding”
“Does that make sense? What do you think?
BC: “I think I wanna punch that guy in the weird-mushroom shaped cock.”
Val: I agree with BC. But also you, kid.
Cyrus: Well there we go audience. The American crisis is solved! We need to reject Trump to bring about change, but that’s just the beginning of healing. It’s just a message that we’re better than division.
Then, it takes a lot of forgiveness, discussion, and understanding! A simple step, followed by a long, complicated road, but I think people are up for it
Any closing thoughts? Our elegant enforcer, BC?
BC: Eh, I can get behind that. Oh also, we need to legalize drugs.
Cyrus: Okay, and from the Iron Wolf?
Val: I hate politics and I hate most politicians. But if we can help people, I’m in.
Um, with that all said, thanks for joining us. We hope you’ll stay with us as we tackle all sorts of issues facing the world. We’re not perfect, but hopefully it’s one step towards saving the world together!
If you have a problem you’d like us to tackle, leave a message with us through 7thvalkyrie.com/contact! And if you enjoy this podcast please rate, subscribe, and share it with friends
That song means we’re out of time folks, but this has been Seventh Valkyrie Live! See you soon!
[Closing Theme Song Begins]
[Closing Theme Song Scratches]
KK: This is a note from Kyrie Krona, the Machine King. Wouldn’t want you to think I’d missed out on all of the fun here. Like always… nothing happens unless I allow it. You’ll be hearing from me. But for now, I’ll allow it. Ciao, and until next time.
[Closing Theme Song Finishes]
So what do you think? With tensions rising in the U.S., what do you think is our best chance at achieving unity again?
Let us know at twitter.com/7thvalkyrie!
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Thanks for reading!